Christmas? Why all the fuss?

January 03, 2018

Well, I'm glad that's over. Christmas is not a happy time for a dog like me and there's no good that comes of it. Humans try to bring dogs into the event but it's just another humiliation.

It's a major disruption to my life. If I'm lucky I'll still get a morning walk and it's all downhill from there on - I get shoved into the kennel and I'm left there to rot all day. 

Mind you, it's better outside than in. Inside the house is total chaos, with the billy-lids yelling, screaming, crying, extracting weird noises from crazy toys and trying to shoot me with the latest Nurf gun. Then there's the dressing up stuff, which I hate.

My little sister, Coco, who is mixing it with the in-crowd these days down in Tasmania, doesn't seem to mind the dressing-up thing - or getting patted by the fat feller with the beard, for that matter. 

It's hard for me to get excited about it. I haven't got over the indignity of being draped in Richmond Tigers colours during the footy finals, when everybody knows I'm a Doggies dog. It was pretty rude of The Boss to do that to me and I didn't make it easy for him. 

So at Christmas I just plain refused to have anything hung off me. I just shake myself a lot and head for the door when anyone tries and they stand no chance of getting a photo of me in some Christmas paraphernalia. And let's face it, they do it for their own amusement.

My mum, Queenie, made the mistake of being helpful when they hung some reindeer horns off her the other day - look how happy she is about that!

It might be alright if there was a little payoff of some kind, a quid pro quo. But The Boss didn't even throw me a lump of turkey - they cleaned it all up and he kept slicing bits off the ham for days without giving me a look-in. 

At least Coco had a party with some of her mates down in Tassie - that would almost be worth getting dressed up for.

Here she is with a couple of Alsatians, a Labradoodle and a Heeler. They all look a little refined and well-behaved for my liking but I sure would enjoy mixing it with them and having a sniff. Besides, I reckon I could rip all that Christmas stuff off 'em in about two minutes!


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